Ward Rackley

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NAME

Ward

Warlock (by Hank Hill)

GENDER

Male

HAIR

Dark brown

AGE

Early-to-mid 20s (presumed)
5000 (claimed age)

JOB

• Employee at Red Carpet Video

• High priest for Coven of Artemis

RELATIVES

Unnamed mother

DEBUT

"The Witches of East Arlen"

VOICED BY

David Cross

Ward Rackley is an employee of Red Carpet Video and self-proclaimed high priest of the Coven of Artemis cult. He only appears once in the Season 7 episode "The Witches of East Arlen". Ward claims that he is a "14th Level Sorcerer". In reality, he is a dorky retail worker who lives with his single mom in a shabby two-story home, the basement of which serves as the lodge for the Coven of Artemis. Hank was alarmed that a man his age was hanging out with Bobby and other young boys.Personality

Ward seems to be a devoted leader of the Coven of Artemis. He often employs "magickal" jargon when talking or complaining (when Bobby bumps into him, he grumbles, "for the love of Mordecai"). At one point, he tried to get a very reluctant Bobby to drink blood from a dog in order to be accepted into the cult, although Ward and the other members of the cult had never actually done this ritual. He also claims to have "Powers, terrible powers!"

Ward believes that the magic he and the coven practice is absolutely real and often tries to present himself as a powerful sorcerer to the point he tries to cast spells on people who "cross" him and publicly proclaim he has great power. However, he is fully aware of the activities they do being the reason they are picked on.

When Hank asked if he was 30 or 40 years old, he responded that he was actually five-thousand years old. He also told Hank that he did not want to waste his "seed" on a common Harlot and he said "When the time is right, a maiden will be delivered up to me. Probably from the East."Trivia

The character is named after the production assistant of the same name on King of the Hill. This was confirmed in an online post by writer Michael Jamin.[1]

Quotes

• HANK: You're Ward Rackley? WARD RACKLEY: It's one of my many monikers, yes. I am also known as Manolgar of the North Woods, and in certain circles, Austin Aussman Straklabartar.

• WARD: "Take your positions on the pentagram." MITCHELL: "A pentagram has five points, but there's only four bases." WARD: "Why do you always have to test me, Mitchell? Just go stand at shortstop!"

• WARD: "Our kind have always been persecuted by those who understand not. From the Salem Trials of the 1600s to the locker room beatings and bathroom swirlees of today. 'Tis all one."

• WARD: "Your training begins now. You can start by refilling my Root Beer."

• WARD: "No reason to waste perfectly good Caninus Spirituis. Let's find an overpass."