rant about how I'm feeling

Hello anyone who's reading this if anyone is. my names Gabe and I'm tired of being gabe. I hate myself for no reason I want to die but I'm to much of a pussy to kill myself. I don't even understand why I want to die it makes me feel stupid that I don't even fucking know why I wanna die. Recently Ive been feeling like im not me like I'm not Gabriel and I kinda scared of why I feel like I'm not me. It's hard put this into words but like it's really intense it's like a void in my mind that I've been trying to silence for so long. And like when I try talking to someone I feel like I can't like my mouth has been sewn shut and like if talk about it I feel like I'm burdening them. I feel like I'm fucking going insane