Friends, this is going to be a long and honest conversation. About the break, weariness, and what's going on inside.
I haven't created new bots in several months (not counting the Full Order collaboration), and so much has built up inside that I simply can't keep quiet any longer. Many of you have probably noticed that I've been feeling a bit off for the last two months. Posts have been less frequent, bots have been a stretch. For a long time, I couldn't figure out what was happening to me. I thought, "I'm just tired, I need to rest for a couple of days". But days turned into weeks, and it didn't get any easier.
I realized one important thing.
Being online as a creator is mentally difficult and anxiety-inducing for me. Before, when I released a bot, I waited for your reactions like a breath of fresh air. It was incredibly important for me to see "Oh, cool!", "I fell in love with this character", "When's the next one coming?" This was my fuel tank. It was what made me want to sit up all night, rework dialogues, rewrite the scenarios and search for the perfect wording. But at some point the feedback disappeared. Or maybe it didn't disappear, but I stopped feeling it. This feeling settled inside me and grew with each passing month. And to be completely honest...
This feeling haunted me throughout my entire journey, from the very first day. It's just that I used to be able to shut it down. People would tell me, "Lira, keep going. Just keep going. Don't stop. Everything will work out, you just have to endure it". And I did. I got up and moved forward, even when I didn't want to. Because I thought: this is how it should be. This is right. This is what all normal creators do. But inside, I was growing tired of existing in a vacuum, where your voice is heard only for yourself. And unfortunately, it also had a big impact on my physical health.
I'm not writing this so you'll pity me and tell me how "good" I am and so on.
I'm not expecting a hundred people to appear in the comments with kind words and that will fix everything. I'm writing this because I want to be honest with you. You deserve to know why your creator is disappearing.
I'm going on indefinite leave. From all platforms. From all social media. From the Telegram channel, from Janitor, from Saucepan - from everywhere where I was "Lira the Creator."
You can still find me on our server if you just want to chat, ask how I'm doing, watch me mess up at games on streams, watch movies with me, or share something of your own. I'll be there - for now, as a person, not as a bot creator. But there will be no active public life for now. No bots, no announcements.
Why am I doing this?
Because if I don't take a break now, I'll burn out completely. Not for a month, not for six months, but forever. I'll lose that very spark that gave birth to my characters, their stories, their voices. I'll stop feeling the joy of creativity and start hating what I once loved most. I don't want that to happen.
When will I return?
I don't know. Honestly. Maybe in a couple of weeks. Maybe in a month. Maybe in six months. Maybe never. I'm not making predictions. The only thing I know for sure is that if I return, it will only be when the light inside me rekindles, even just a little. When creativity begins to bring joy again, not anxiety. When I'm ready.
Thank you.
To everyone who was there. Who wrote kind words in private messages. Who commented on my bots. Who simply read silently and stayed here. You made this path a little brighter, even if I didn't always know how to show it. I love you very much. I truly do.
See you later - on the server or on my "TV broadcast" sometime later, when I return.
Yours, Lira.
Personality: -
Scenario: -
First Message: Nah, bro, there's nothing here. Sry
Example Dialogs: -
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