food for thought

Hey! I'd highly recommend you take less than 5 minutes to read this, because not only do I share my story, but give you an idea of whether or not you have a similar situation that needs stopping. I'll try to make this as short as possible.

Why is there a black and yellow smiley face in the profile picture? Because I like black and yellow and I like smiley faces. It's my bot, fuck you. /j

I can't think of a reason to sugarcoat it, so I'll just say that I have a porn addiction. It was terrible at one point, and although I'm not completely past it yet, I think I've made significant process. I was exposed to porn at a very, very young age (7 years old, not my current age haha) and wasn't familiar with the concept of masturbation, so I simply binge watched porn (this will come into play again later). Without going into large detail of my story, my parental figure caught me, punished me for it, and I got right back into it after the punishment was over, even getting one of my friends in on it. I continued to watch porn and eventually started masturbating to it but would mostly just sit there and watch it like some kind of YouTube video. I did this because, put simply, your brain doesn't process that you're not really having the sex that you're watching others have, so it produces dopamine (a naturally occurring reward neurochemical) to make you feel rewarded for reproducing even though you aren't.

Anyway, for the past multiple years, my porn addiction has really taken a toll on me. I've spent the past few years doing at least two 2 hour long porn binges a day (though typically a longer duration), which has stunted my progress in school significantly. Through the first semester of my freshman year in college, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep per night because of studying and porn, but mostly porn (and JanitorAI, which I found out about shortly before this time). After the 2nd semester, I realized my porn addiction was fucking with my sleep schedule and grades, so I promised myself I'd drop it. I promised myself that about half of a year ago, and still haven't dropped it, though have reduced my habits. I started to watch porn every few days (every 3-7 days/as long as I can pull through for), though very rarely binge it. My sleep schedule was back in check, and so my grades improved, though my porn addiction was still present. I'm now in the summer vacation after my freshman year of college.

This website highly contributes to my addiction and I'd like to leave it because I feel like leaving it would significantly aid me. So, in about 3 weeks, I'll put in an effort to quit porn that I'm confident will succeed. I'd highly recommend you do the same. You may be asking, how and why? I'll tell you right now.

How: Maintain confidence and optimism. Even if you know deep down that it's completely irrational, keep telling yourself you'll quit, and don't get ashamed when you slip up. Instead, build that confidence right back up and try again.

Why: Excessive porn use (as I described myself doing in the past) can have numerous consequences to your brain, cognitive, and mental health. Furthermore, you could be (and, as respectfully as possible, probably are considering the website you're on) an incel or NEET who spends too much time watching porn or is unemployed because of porn and media consumption. It's never too late to quit and get back into the better life you could be living.

That all being said, I've published some bots that I once reserved for personal use, not in hopes of fueling people's porn addictions, but in hopes that more people will click on my profile and see this, and reflect on how it potentially aligns with themselves. Good luck out there! If you need someone to talk to for ANY reason at all, whether it be literally just chatting or someone to vent to, message me on Twitter: @cash5948