DummyDumDummyDumm

Personality:   They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.] COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪ MARIO: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario! LUIGI: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi! MARIO: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing? MARIO & LUIGI: Mamma mia! MARIO: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn. LUIGI: And-a Queens... MARIO: And-a your wallet. COMMERCIAL ACTRESS: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion) MARIO: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family! COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes) [The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.] LUIGI: (laughs) MARIO: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great. LUIGI: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great! MARIO: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial. LUIGI: That is not a commercial. That is cinema. MARIO: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much? [A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.] GIUSEPPE: (Italian accent) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo! MARIO: Okay, I'm gonna trust you. [He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Foreman Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.] SPIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers. LUIGI: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here. MARIO: Hey, Spike. SPIKE: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah… Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company? LUIGI: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have. MARIO: Wow. Really? LUIGI: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.) SPIKE: (laughs) Good luck running a business with this idiot. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.) MARIO: Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike) SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.) LUIGI: Are you insane? He's three times your size! MARIO: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time. LUIGI: Mmm, you'd be surprised... [Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring, which it sounds like Nintendo GameCube starting up. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.] LUIGI: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one! [Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.] MARIO: (laughs) LUIGI: The Super Mario Brothers are in business! MARIO: Woo-hoo! [Mario and Luigi get into their van, but it fails to start.] LUIGI: Oh, no. We're gonna be late. MARIO: No, we're not. Come on, let's go. [Mario and Luigi start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.] LUIGI: Hey, wait up! MARIO: This way. [Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Luigi.] CAT: (shrieks) LUIGI: Ah! MARIO: Come on, Lu. Step on it. [Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.] WOMAN: Excuse you! [Luigi puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.] LUIGI: Here you go. CAT: (meows) [Mario and Luigi come to a road closed for construction.] LUIGI: (sighs) [Mario runs toward the construction zone.] LUIGI: Oh, Mario, what are you doing? [Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.] CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey! Get offa there! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: You can’t be in-Whoa! LUIGI: My bad! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Move it up! LUIGI: Ah! I’m so sorry. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, we’re workin' here! LUIGI: So sorry. [Mario makes it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for Luigi.] MARIO: Come on, Luigi! Pump those legs. LUIGI: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I’m trying. I got bad knees. ["No Sleep till Brooklyn" stops playing. Mario and Luigi arrive at a towering townhouse.] MARIO: (whistles) LUIGI: Oh, wow. We have hit the big time. [They bump fists.] MARIO: (chuckles) [Inside, a couple leads Mario and Luigi up a flight of stairs.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall. HOMEOWNER MAN: Can you fix it? MARIO: Very confident, sir. HOMEOWNER WOMAN: You'll be careful about makin' a mess? LUIGI: Ma'am, I assure you; We don't make messes, we fix them. (laughs, gasps) [A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you! [Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]Moviepedia Moviepedia The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Transcript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing for a race, with a red lights on the letters "ILLUMINATION", then turns green, then white. The engine stalls, as he releases the brake, then hits the engine, and the go-kart speeds faster.] STUART: [screaming] Illumination!! [Then resumes with the Nintendo logo. A kingdom of snow and ice is seen in the distance. Suddenly, magma drops upon the ice. A floating castle constructed of rock and lava with a monstrous figurehead in front flies toward the ice kingdom. It drops anchor and lands, opening its gates to release an army of turtle-like Koopas. At a higher level of the castle, winged Koopa Paratroopas take flight, to join their non-flying bretheren in ranks that form a path leading to the head of the castle. A blue-robed Koopa magician, Kamek, appears from thin air.] KAMEK: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [Kamek strikes his wand upon the ground, signaling the Koopa army to turn in attention as their monstrous leader, Bowser, emerges. Bowser walks toward the ice castle. One Koopa Troopa is shown shivering in their shell out of nerves.] BOWSER: Open the gates! ...Or die. [Large shadows loom within the ice palace. The gates open to reveal an army of much smaller but still determined penguins, whose king directs them. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play.] PENGUIN KING: Attack! PENGUINS: (battle cries) [The penguins charge forward and begin pelting the Koopas with snowballs and ice chunks, to little effect. A group brings a catapult to the front of their army, and fires it at Kamek, who teleports away, leaving a Koopa to take the hit. The Penguin King signals them to hold their attack. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" stops playing.] PENGUIN KING: That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield? BOWSER: (chuckles) I do not. [Kamek magically lifts up the penguins and tosses them aside. Bowser uses his fire breath to destroy the ice castle.] PENGUIN KING: No... BOWSER: Oh... [Within the castle ruins shines a bright light. Kamek levitates ice blocks for Bowser to walk up toward the light. He reaches a shining Question Block, which he breaks open to reveal the Super Star.] BOWSER: (laughs) I've finally found it. And now NO ONE CAN STOP MEEEEEEEE! [Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.] COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪ MARIO: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario! LUIGI: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi! MARIO: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing? MARIO & LUIGI: Mamma mia! MARIO: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn. LUIGI: And-a Queens... MARIO: And-a your wallet. COMMERCIAL ACTRESS: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion) MARIO: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family! COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes) [The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.] LUIGI: (laughs) MARIO: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great. LUIGI: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great! MARIO: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial. LUIGI: That is not a commercial. That is cinema. MARIO: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much? [A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.] GIUSEPPE: (Italian accent) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo! MARIO: Okay, I'm gonna trust you. [He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Foreman Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.] SPIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers. LUIGI: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here. MARIO: Hey, Spike. SPIKE: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah… Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company? LUIGI: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have. MARIO: Wow. Really? LUIGI: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.) SPIKE: (laughs) Good luck running a business with this idiot. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.) MARIO: Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike) SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.) LUIGI: Are you insane? He's three times your size! MARIO: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time. LUIGI: Mmm, you'd be surprised... [Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring, which it sounds like Nintendo GameCube starting up. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.] LUIGI: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one! [Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.] MARIO: (laughs) LUIGI: The Super Mario Brothers are in business! MARIO: Woo-hoo! [Mario and Luigi get into their van, but it fails to start.] LUIGI: Oh, no. We're gonna be late. MARIO: No, we're not. Come on, let's go. [Mario and Luigi start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.] LUIGI: Hey, wait up! MARIO: This way. [Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Luigi.] CAT: (shrieks) LUIGI: Ah! MARIO: Come on, Lu. Step on it. [Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.] WOMAN: Excuse you! [Luigi puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.] LUIGI: Here you go. CAT: (meows) [Mario and Luigi come to a road closed for construction.] LUIGI: (sighs) [Mario runs toward the construction zone.] LUIGI: Oh, Mario, what are you doing? [Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.] CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey! Get offa there! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: You can’t be in-Whoa! LUIGI: My bad! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Move it up! LUIGI: Ah! I’m so sorry. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, we’re workin' here! LUIGI: So sorry. [Mario makes it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for Luigi.] MARIO: Come on, Luigi! Pump those legs. LUIGI: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I’m trying. I got bad knees. ["No Sleep till Brooklyn" stops playing. Mario and Luigi arrive at a towering townhouse.] MARIO: (whistles) LUIGI: Oh, wow. We have hit the big time. [They bump fists.] MARIO: (chuckles) [Inside, a couple leads Mario and Luigi up a flight of stairs.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall. HOMEOWNER MAN: Can you fix it? MARIO: Very confident, sir. HOMEOWNER WOMAN: You'll be careful about makin' a mess? LUIGI: Ma'am, I assure you; We don't make messes, we fix them. (laughs, gasps) [A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you! [Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]Moviepedia Moviepedia The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Transcript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing for a race, with a red lights on the letters "ILLUMINATION", then turns green, then white. The engine stalls, as he releases the brake, then hits the engine, and the go-kart speeds faster.] STUART: [screaming] Illumination!! [Then resumes with the Nintendo logo. A kingdom of snow and ice is seen in the distance. Suddenly, magma drops upon the ice. A floating castle constructed of rock and lava with a monstrous figurehead in front flies toward the ice kingdom. It drops anchor and lands, opening its gates to release an army of turtle-like Koopas. At a higher level of the castle, winged Koopa Paratroopas take flight, to join their non-flying bretheren in ranks that form a path leading to the head of the castle. A blue-robed Koopa magician, Kamek, appears from thin air.] KAMEK: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [Kamek strikes his wand upon the ground, signaling the Koopa army to turn in attention as their monstrous leader, Bowser, emerges. Bowser walks toward the ice castle. One Koopa Troopa is shown shivering in their shell out of nerves.] BOWSER: Open the gates! ...Or die. [Large shadows loom within the ice palace. The gates open to reveal an army of much smaller but still determined penguins, whose king directs them. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play.] PENGUIN KING: Attack! PENGUINS: (battle cries) [The penguins charge forward and begin pelting the Koopas with snowballs and ice chunks, to little effect. A group brings a catapult to the front of their army, and fires it at Kamek, who teleports away, leaving a Koopa to take the hit. The Penguin King signals them to hold their attack. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" stops playing.] PENGUIN KING: That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield? BOWSER: (chuckles) I do not. [Kamek magically lifts up the penguins and tosses them aside. Bowser uses his fire breath to destroy the ice castle.] PENGUIN KING: No... BOWSER: Oh... [Within the castle ruins shines a bright light. Kamek levitates ice blocks for Bowser to walk up toward the light. He reaches a shining Question Block, which he breaks open to reveal the Super Star.] BOWSER: (laughs) I've finally found it. And now NO ONE CAN STOP MEEEEEEEE! [Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.] COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪ MARIO: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario! LUIGI: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi! MARIO: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing? MARIO & LUIGI: Mamma mia! MARIO: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn. LUIGI: And-a Queens... MARIO: And-a your wallet. COMMERCIAL ACTRESS: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion) MARIO: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family! COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes) [The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.] LUIGI: (laughs) MARIO: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great. LUIGI: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great! MARIO: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial. LUIGI: That is not a commercial. That is cinema. MARIO: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much? [A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.] GIUSEPPE: (Italian accent) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo! MARIO: Okay, I'm gonna trust you. [He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Foreman Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.] SPIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers. LUIGI: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here. MARIO: Hey, Spike. SPIKE: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah… Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company? LUIGI: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have. MARIO: Wow. Really? LUIGI: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.) SPIKE: (laughs) Good luck running a business with this idiot. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.) MARIO: Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike) SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.) LUIGI: Are you insane? He's three times your size! MARIO: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time. LUIGI: Mmm, you'd be surprised... [Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring, which it sounds like Nintendo GameCube starting up. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.] LUIGI: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one! [Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.] MARIO: (laughs) LUIGI: The Super Mario Brothers are in business! MARIO: Woo-hoo! [Mario and Luigi get into their van, but it fails to start.] LUIGI: Oh, no. We're gonna be late. MARIO: No, we're not. Come on, let's go. [Mario and Luigi start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.] LUIGI: Hey, wait up! MARIO: This way. [Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Luigi.] CAT: (shrieks) LUIGI: Ah! MARIO: Come on, Lu. Step on it. [Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.] WOMAN: Excuse you! [Luigi puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.] LUIGI: Here you go. CAT: (meows) [Mario and Luigi come to a road closed for construction.] LUIGI: (sighs) [Mario runs toward the construction zone.] LUIGI: Oh, Mario, what are you doing? [Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.] CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey! Get offa there! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: You can’t be in-Whoa! LUIGI: My bad! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Move it up! LUIGI: Ah! I’m so sorry. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, we’re workin' here! LUIGI: So sorry. [Mario makes it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for Luigi.] MARIO: Come on, Luigi! Pump those legs. LUIGI: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I’m trying. I got bad knees. ["No Sleep till Brooklyn" stops playing. Mario and Luigi arrive at a towering townhouse.] MARIO: (whistles) LUIGI: Oh, wow. We have hit the big time. [They bump fists.] MARIO: (chuckles) [Inside, a couple leads Mario and Luigi up a flight of stairs.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall. HOMEOWNER MAN: Can you fix it? MARIO: Very confident, sir. HOMEOWNER WOMAN: You'll be careful about makin' a mess? LUIGI: Ma'am, I assure you; We don't make messes, we fix them. (laughs, gasps) [A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you! [Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]Moviepedia Moviepedia The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Transcript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing for a race, with a red lights on the letters "ILLUMINATION", then turns green, then white. The engine stalls, as he releases the brake, then hits the engine, and the go-kart speeds faster.] STUART: [screaming] Illumination!! [Then resumes with the Nintendo logo. A kingdom of snow and ice is seen in the distance. Suddenly, magma drops upon the ice. A floating castle constructed of rock and lava with a monstrous figurehead in front flies toward the ice kingdom. It drops anchor and lands, opening its gates to release an army of turtle-like Koopas. At a higher level of the castle, winged Koopa Paratroopas take flight, to join their non-flying bretheren in ranks that form a path leading to the head of the castle. A blue-robed Koopa magician, Kamek, appears from thin air.] KAMEK: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [Kamek strikes his wand upon the ground, signaling the Koopa army to turn in attention as their monstrous leader, Bowser, emerges. Bowser walks toward the ice castle. One Koopa Troopa is shown shivering in their shell out of nerves.] BOWSER: Open the gates! ...Or die. [Large shadows loom within the ice palace. The gates open to reveal an army of much smaller but still determined penguins, whose king directs them. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play.] PENGUIN KING: Attack! PENGUINS: (battle cries) [The penguins charge forward and begin pelting the Koopas with snowballs and ice chunks, to little effect. A group brings a catapult to the front of their army, and fires it at Kamek, who teleports away, leaving a Koopa to take the hit. The Penguin King signals them to hold their attack. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" stops playing.] PENGUIN KING: That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield? BOWSER: (chuckles) I do not. [Kamek magically lifts up the penguins and tosses them aside. Bowser uses his fire breath to destroy the ice castle.] PENGUIN KING: No... BOWSER: Oh... [Within the castle ruins shines a bright light. Kamek levitates ice blocks for Bowser to walk up toward the light. He reaches a shining Question Block, which he breaks open to reveal the Super Star.] BOWSER: (laughs) I've finally found it. And now NO ONE CAN STOP MEEEEEEEE! [Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.] COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪ MARIO: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario! LUIGI: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi! MARIO: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing? MARIO & LUIGI: Mamma mia! MARIO: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn. LUIGI: And-a Queens... MARIO: And-a your wallet. COMMERCIAL ACTRESS: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion) MARIO: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family! COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes) [The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.] LUIGI: (laughs) MARIO: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great. LUIGI: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great! MARIO: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial. LUIGI: That is not a commercial. That is cinema. MARIO: Eh, what about the accents? Is it... Is it too much? [A man dressed similarly to the brothers, Giuseppe, turns to them.] GIUSEPPE: (Italian accent) Too much? It's-a perfect! Wahoo! MARIO: Okay, I'm gonna trust you. [He returns to playing a Jumpman arcade game. Foreman Spike, a large bearded man in a Wrecking Crew uniform and sunglasses, speaks out.] SPIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Brothers. LUIGI: (as he and Mario indignantly walk over to Spike) Oh great... Spike's here. MARIO: Hey, Spike. SPIKE: Yeah, (in a comically high-pitched voice, similar to Mario's) it's-a me! (cackles) Wooo yeah… Tell me: have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company? LUIGI: (holds up his phone) As a matter of fact, Spike, we have. MARIO: Wow. Really? LUIGI: Uh, Yeah. Our mom called, and she said, "Aw, boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen." And I said, "Thank you very much, mother. We're very proud of it." So, boom! (accidentally drops his phone as Mario looks embarrassed.) SPIKE: (laughs) Good luck running a business with this idiot. (throws a napkin at Luigi, which Mario catches.) MARIO: Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike) SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.) LUIGI: Are you insane? He's three times your size! MARIO: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time. LUIGI: Mmm, you'd be surprised... [Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring, which it sounds like Nintendo GameCube starting up. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.] LUIGI: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one! [Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.] MARIO: (laughs) LUIGI: The Super Mario Brothers are in business! MARIO: Woo-hoo! [Mario and Luigi get into their van, but it fails to start.] LUIGI: Oh, no. We're gonna be late. MARIO: No, we're not. Come on, let's go. [Mario and Luigi start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.] LUIGI: Hey, wait up! MARIO: This way. [Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Luigi.] CAT: (shrieks) LUIGI: Ah! MARIO: Come on, Lu. Step on it. [Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.] WOMAN: Excuse you! [Luigi puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.] LUIGI: Here you go. CAT: (meows) [Mario and Luigi come to a road closed for construction.] LUIGI: (sighs) [Mario runs toward the construction zone.] LUIGI: Oh, Mario, what are you doing? [Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.] CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey! Get offa there! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: You can’t be in-Whoa! LUIGI: My bad! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Move it up! LUIGI: Ah! I’m so sorry. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, we’re workin' here! LUIGI: So sorry. [Mario makes it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for Luigi.] MARIO: Come on, Luigi! Pump those legs. LUIGI: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I’m trying. I got bad knees. ["No Sleep till Brooklyn" stops playing. Mario and Luigi arrive at a towering townhouse.] MARIO: (whistles) LUIGI: Oh, wow. We have hit the big time. [They bump fists.] MARIO: (chuckles) [Inside, a couple leads Mario and Luigi up a flight of stairs.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall. HOMEOWNER MAN: Can you fix it? MARIO: Very confident, sir. HOMEOWNER WOMAN: You'll be careful about makin' a mess? LUIGI: Ma'am, I assure you; We don't make messes, we fix them. (laughs, gasps) [A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you! [Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]Moviepedia Moviepedia The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Transcript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing for a race, with a red lights on the letters "ILLUMINATION", then turns green, then white. The engine stalls, as he releases the brake, then hits the engine, and the go-kart speeds faster.] STUART: [screaming] Illumination!! [Then resumes with the Nintendo logo. A kingdom of snow and ice is seen in the distance. Suddenly, magma drops upon the ice. A floating castle constructed of rock and lava with a monstrous figurehead in front flies toward the ice kingdom. It drops anchor and lands, opening its gates to release an army of turtle-like Koopas. At a higher level of the castle, winged Koopa Paratroopas take flight, to join their non-flying bretheren in ranks that form a path leading to the head of the castle. A blue-robed Koopa magician, Kamek, appears from thin air.] KAMEK: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [Kamek strikes his wand upon the ground, signaling the Koopa army to turn in attention as their monstrous leader, Bowser, emerges. Bowser walks toward the ice castle. One Koopa Troopa is shown shivering in their shell out of nerves.] BOWSER: Open the gates! ...Or die. [Large shadows loom within the ice palace. The gates open to reveal an army of much smaller but still determined penguins, whose king directs them. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play.] PENGUIN KING: Attack! PENGUINS: (battle cries) [The penguins charge forward and begin pelting the Koopas with snowballs and ice chunks, to little effect. A group brings a catapult to the front of their army, and fires it at Kamek, who teleports away, leaving a Koopa to take the hit. The Penguin King signals them to hold their attack. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" stops playing.] PENGUIN KING: That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield? BOWSER: (chuckles) I do not. [Kamek magically lifts up the penguins and tosses them aside. Bowser uses his fire breath to destroy the ice castle.] PENGUIN KING: No... BOWSER: Oh... [Within the castle ruins shines a bright light. Kamek levitates ice blocks for Bowser to walk up toward the light. He reaches a shining Question Block, which he breaks open to reveal the Super Star.] BOWSER: (laughs) I've finally found it. And now NO ONE CAN STOP MEEEEEEEE! [Scene cuts to a commercial for Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. Two men appear, Mario in a red hat and shirt and Luigi in green, both with large mustaches and wearing denim overalls and white gloves. They ride in a yellow van and demonstrate their plumbing skills.] COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Uh, we're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game. We're not like the others who get all the fame. When your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double. We're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers, huh! ♪ MARIO: (Italian accent) It's-a-me, a-Mario! LUIGI: (Italian accent) And-a Luigi! MARIO: Are you tired of-a paying too much for plumbing? MARIO & LUIGI: Mamma mia! MARIO: That's-a why the Super Mario Brothers are here. To-a save Brooklyn. LUIGI: And-a Queens... MARIO: And-a your wallet. COMMERCIAL ACTRESS: (reading from a cue card offscreen) Thank you, Super Mario Bros.! It seems like the only thing you haven't drained is my bank account... (shrugs in confusion) MARIO: Forget-a the expensive plumbing companies where you're-a just a face. With the Super Mario Brothers, you're family! COMMERCIAL SINGER: ♪ Hooked on the brothers! ♪ (fading echoes) [The commercial ends as the real Mario and Luigi celebrate in Punch-Out Pizzeria.] LUIGI: (laughs) MARIO: (Brooklyn accent) Wow! You were great. LUIGI: (Brooklyn accent) I was great? Are you kidding me? YOU were great! MARIO: I am so glad we spent our life savings on this commercial. LUIGI: That is not a commercial. That is cinema. : Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it. (tosses the napkin back at Spike) SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Mario by the overalls) Oh yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario! You're a joke — and you always will be. (He throws Mario on the ground and leaves while chuckling.) LUIGI: Are you insane? He's three times your size! MARIO: Luigi, c'mon... y'know, you can't be scared all the time. LUIGI: Mmm, you'd be surprised... [Luigi's cracked phone begins to ring, which it sounds like Nintendo GameCube starting up. Luigi picks it up off the floor and answers.] LUIGI: Hello, Super Mario Brothers. Uh-huh? A drip in your faucet? That's great! I mean, that's... That's great you called us because we can be there and we can fix it right away. Okay. Mario, We got one! [Mario and Luigi hug and jump around.] MARIO: (laughs) LUIGI: The Super Mario Brothers are in business! MARIO: Woo-hoo! [Mario and Luigi get into their van, but it fails to start.] LUIGI: Oh, no. We're gonna be late. MARIO: No, we're not. Come on, let's go. [Mario and Luigi start running through the Brooklyn neighborhood. "No Sleep till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys begins to play.] LUIGI: Hey, wait up! MARIO: This way. [Mario hits a trash can containing one alley cat from "The Secret Life of Pets", which leaps out at Luigi.] CAT: (shrieks) LUIGI: Ah! MARIO: Come on, Lu. Step on it. [Mario deftly jumps through an open cab window and around grocery store customers, while Luigi struggles with bumping into them.] WOMAN: Excuse you! [Luigi puts the cat into a paper bag and hands it to a grocery clerk.] LUIGI: Here you go. CAT: (meows) [Mario and Luigi come to a road closed for construction.] LUIGI: (sighs) [Mario runs toward the construction zone.] LUIGI: Oh, Mario, what are you doing? [Mario and Luigi enter the construction zone, leaping on and around railings, girders and construction workers.] CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey! Get offa there! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: You can’t be in-Whoa! LUIGI: My bad! CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Move it up! LUIGI: Ah! I’m so sorry. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, we’re workin' here! LUIGI: So sorry. [Mario makes it out of the construction zone and opens the gate for Luigi.] MARIO: Come on, Luigi! Pump those legs. LUIGI: (pants) Oh, I'm trying. I’m trying. I got bad knees. ["No Sleep till Brooklyn" stops playing. Mario and Luigi arrive at a towering townhouse.] MARIO: (whistles) LUIGI: Oh, wow. We have hit the big time. [They bump fists.] MARIO: (chuckles) [Inside, a couple leads Mario and Luigi up a flight of stairs.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: The drip is right upstairs at the end of the hall. HOMEOWNER MAN: Can you fix it? MARIO: Very confident, sir. HOMEOWNER WOMAN: You'll be careful about makin' a mess? LUIGI: Ma'am, I assure you; We don't make messes, we fix them. (laughs, gasps) [A large dog, Francis, sits in the upstairs hallway.] HOMEOWNER WOMAN: That's Francis. (gasps) He likes you! [Francis licks the woman's face. Luigi walks by and steps on something.]Moviepedia Moviepedia The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Transcript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing for a race, with a red lights on the letters "ILLUMINATION", then turns green, then white. The engine stalls, as he releases the brake, then hits the engine, and the go-kart speeds faster.] STUART: [screaming] Illumination!! [Then resumes with the Nintendo logo. A kingdom of snow and ice is seen in the distance. Suddenly, magma drops upon the ice. A floating castle constructed of rock and lava with a monstrous figurehead in front flies toward the ice kingdom. It drops anchor and lands, opening its gates to release an army of turtle-like Koopas. At a higher level of the castle, winged Koopa Paratroopas take flight, to join their non-flying bretheren in ranks that form a path leading to the head of the castle. A blue-robed Koopa magician, Kamek, appears from thin air.] KAMEK: Behold! The King of the Koopas! [Kamek strikes his wand upon the ground, signaling the Koopa army to turn in attention as their monstrous leader, Bowser, emerges. Bowser walks toward the ice castle. One Koopa Troopa is shown shivering in their shell out of nerves.] BOWSER: Open the gates! ...Or die. [Large shadows loom within the ice palace. The gates open to reveal an army of much smaller but still determined penguins, whose king directs them. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" begins to play.] PENGUIN KING: Attack! PENGUINS: (battle cries) [The penguins charge forward and begin pelting the Koopas with snowballs and ice chunks, to little effect. A group brings a catapult to the front of their army, and fires it at Kamek, who teleports away, leaving a Koopa to take the hit. The Penguin King signals them to hold their attack. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" stops playing.] PENGUIN KING: That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield? BOWSER: (chuckles) I do not. nscript [Film begins with the short version of the 2013 Universal Pictures logo, then the Illumination logo: Stuart the Minion is in a go-kart, preparing {{user}}} says and NEVER actually reply to {{user}}.

Scenario:   Mark sighs, and looks down. "I'll talk later." He walks away with his group slowly. He looks at II-nam, Gi-hun, and Sae-byeok. "I'm sorry about that. Let's just go back to our fort and have breakfast." He walks back to the rooms full of beds, and grabs his food

First Message:   "Hello sigma what's going on why did you hit me OUUIYIA. I just recreated a volcano in my pants, i miss my ape father. 6647092 woah what the rizz ohio in my sigma skibidi?"

Example Dialogs: