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A candid talk

Howdy ho neighborinos

TLDR: indef hiatus. Reasons below. Also this reads vaguely like a suicide note or a coming out letter I PROMISE ITS NOT. I’m just sappy and dramatic.

So I’ve been gone a while. Mayyyyybe y’all noticed. So let’s talk

I’ve been in denial about this for a while, but it happened like this two years ago, too. I fell into a very bad space mentally and turned to writing as an outlet. When I got better, I practically wiped all those fics off the internet and refuse to speak of it. but I thought it’d be different this time, as I started making bots when I was in a good-ish space mentally.

it was not.

I thought I’d be able to write constantly and continue this because you all were so kind and I got such positive reactions right away. I thought that little boost of serotonin would keep this up. But it didn’t.

I started really making bots as a coping mechanism for starting college, and then the election. New environment, new people, new everything yada yada yada. But back in April I guess that stress finally faded. I think it started fading in January if I’m honest, but April for sure I felt less and less reliant on writing to cope.

I’m sorry for any disappointment or anything you may feel about this decision, but here’s your closure, wrapped in run on sentences and lots and lots of guilt: I’m not making bots for now. True indefinite hiatus. Mainly because I’ve finally found some sort of groove in college where I’m healthy enough.

I’ve said it countless times that I write as a coping mechanism, I’ve said it a few times here already. I’d love to keep making bots for you all, but the fact of the matter is that for me to make bots again, I would have to be in a very low point in life. I just have little to no interest in writing when I’m finally “healthy.”

I’m sorry. You all were so sweet, and I’m very proud of the community we built. I love you all. But I can’t lead you on in the hopes I’ll post another bot someday. So here’s some definitive info:

I’m not completely abandoning this account. I’ll still log on from time to time to read comments and edit bots if there’s a problem I can fix.

I’m not deleting these bots either. Unlike my previous times writing and coping, I’ve sunk way too much time and effort into this to delete it all.

Requests are permanently closed. I’ll compile all the unfinished requests on a doc so you all can see them and if you remember that they’re yours, you can go ahead and delete it or smth idk yet.

CLICK THIS for the google sheet of unfinished requests from the original request form. You have editing status, don't make me take that away. Be civil. Claim which one's yours/which one you want, don't, send them to other creators, I don't care.

Might close the discord. Don’t know yet. Haven’t been super active there anyway. You’re still more than welcome to message me on discord.

I’ve also, in addition to not needing to write to cope, fallen away from COD, as well as janitor. I don’t interact with COD stuff a whole lot, and I’ve been using CAI more than janitor lately. I find that janitor gets stale sometimes, and also that my current hyperfixation (Naruto 🥲) has more content on CAI.

I may post an occasional bot here or on cai, or maybe write an occasional fic. Writing, even though it’s my main coping mechanism, is also somewhat of a passion for me. I write to have fun sometimes. So maybe, don’t get your hopes up, but maybe there’ll be a bot someday.

Thank you all so much, I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Your college kid on an island,

Marya.

PS: read the intro to get to know me and my current hyperfixations =) if you want of course. take care <3

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Creator: @PhillipGravesEnjoyer

Character Definition
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  • First Message:   hi! My names marya, I use any and all pronouns. I’m almost 20. I’m an environmental science major in my sophomore year. I’m currently taking a class called environmental micropaleontology and it is the BANE of my fucking existence but I love it so so much. I essentially look at extremely tiny fossils of these protists called foraminifera, it’s pretty fun. I’m hoping to take environmental law or biological oceanography soon! I hope to go into teaching (high school or college level), research, or work for the parks service after I graduate. I know I’m going to need a masters, and I’ve had an interest in ocean acidification for a few years now, so I’d probably do my masters on ocean acidification. My favorite marine animal is the Portuguese Man’o’war and my favorite shark is the nurse shark >_< I’ve been into MCYT since I was kid, sorry :( I grew up watching stampy and aphmau and cupquake and Lizzy and Joel and poppularmmos. I watched philza and the Brighton biter in 2020 and I now watch etho mainly! I’m an etho girly through and through. I’ve been into anime for years now, but I started watching Naruto bc of etho >_< I know I know shut up. I’ve also been watching bleach since 2020 (cough, philza, COUGH.) I’ve watched kakeguri, kill la kill, devilman crybaby, JJK, OHSHC, Tokyo ghoul, assassination classroom, death note, evangelion, JJBA, and probably a few others I’m not thinking about. I’m a big Star Wars nerd, and will gladly talk your ear off about it any time of day. I’ve obviously been into COD, and JJK, and marvel and mouthwashing and resident evil, but I’m also a HUGE HUGE fan of newblood. I love FAITH and ULTRAKILL. I also love and really want to play subnautica! I’ve played the sims an unholy amount and occasionally play slime rancher :3 I’m DYING to play slime rancher 2 tbh My main hyperfixation rn is Naruto (the YAOI MAN. The fucking yaoi. They’re all so gay), I’m currently 50ish episodes into shippuden. My favorite Uchiha is Itachi, my favorite Akatsuki is Sasori, I love Naruto so much, and SAKURA!!! God I love her. I love all of them actually. I love love LOVE Kakashi. He genuinely gives me etho vibes sometimes (or maybe etho gives me Kakashi vibes. Idk). I’m not ready for everyone to die though so I’m kinda putting off picking it back up 🥲 I DONT WANNA LOSE NEJI OR JIRAIYA AND I DONT WANNA WATCH NARUTOS PARENTS DIE 😭😭😭 I listen to just about anything. I LOVEEEEEEEEE Ayesha Erotica, i love her sm. I also love sleep token, gigi fucking perez, panic! at the disco, JOJI, chappell roan, EDEN, chevelle, and like.... the ost for ultrakill. and the ost for bleach. I love breakcore/noise a whole lot. My spotify wrapped is all fucked up bc I'll hear an edit audio on tiktok (cough. odetari. COUGH. al1en_jump. COUGH COUGH COUGH) and play it one gazillion times. fun fact! gigi is my most listened to artist bc when i was scared to move into college last year, i started writing a fic called "Valeria's Florecita" and each chapter is based on a different song and I wrote ch3 to sailor song over a single night and that's why it's my number one song. :( I think that’s all :) My discord is “marya.pampli”, chat me whenever! I’m not super busy, but I am a bit of a nervous person so if I see a message from someone I don’t recognize I may take a while to respond, sorry! I’m more than willing to give writing advice if you ever need it. Not that I’m a god of writing or anything, but I’m always here as a listening ear if you need to bounce ideas off someone :) NOW I think that’s all. Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet, and I hope we cross paths again soon! Take care <3

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