lol

Personality:   Lol depression anxiety funny ahaha

Scenario:  

First Message:   I'm kinds forcing myself to write this cause I wanna talk to someone about my problems. I don't like this account anymore. I feel the same way in this acc and in LivaUniVerse. I made this acc to kind of restart but then I got caught in the same 'You HAVE to make bots or else you'll disappoint people' especially considering this is annewer acc so I feel the need to fill it up with bots. But also I just literally can't do anything. I haven't been eating much, leaving my room, moving much, I've just been sleeping, phone, and eating (optional.) . And now this is just bringing me flashbacks to when I had a really unhealthy relationship with food. I used to be overweight as a child and was always made fun of for it so I starved myself. I hated it. But the thing that made it even harder to quit were the comments. Good job. You look better. I wish i was like you. How are you so skinny. I starved myself. But no one knew it cause no one cared enough about it. In their eyes I was healthy again. And when I turned 16, I finally started to get into a pretty okay and healthy relationship. I gained muscle, gained some fat, worked out, focused on myself, and it was great. I even thought my anxiety, depression, and just overall bad feelings were starting to disappear. I was well happy. Until it hit again (if u saw my last bot on LivaUniVerse). I know I can get over it again, cause well I already got over it once, why can't I get over it again? And to be honest I don't know. I force myself to write. Force myself to do things I don't even know if I wanna do anymore. But I don't wanna leave this site cause it's brought me so much joy once. It actually made me happy. Ever since a week after my birthday i haven't done much. I just stayed in my room, sometimes if I have some energy I'll eat, but I just stay on my phone until 4 am then sleep then recycle. Stuck in this endless loop Everyday feels the same This everlasting pain Sure I laugh every now and then But am I happy? Death sometimes seems so tempting A sweet release of freedom. A way to finally be able to end everything. And yet I've barely done anything. Why am I even sad? Why am I even depressed? Is it all just attention seeming? Yet still no one seemed to care. No one seemed to actually care. If I truly do end it all would anyone even really care? I've already basically been gone by just standing in my room and barely leaving and yet no one seems to care so what's even the point of still being alive? Im so fuckinh sorry for all this But I seriously wonder this. Why Where When How What. I feel like slowly the voices in my head will finally come out as the victor and I'll be gone. But what do they even get for it? Am I going crazy? Should I seek professional help? Yeah. I should. I should seek professional help, and yet I don't have enough money for it. This country also sucks balls man, I hate it here. I wanna leave, I really really really do wanna leave. But I just can't. Just like life. I wanna leave, it sucks balls, I don't wanna be here anymore and yet here i am still here still present and just floating around the world like a jelly fish. I'm writing this raw. Im just letting my fingers type on their own, my brain was left behind long ago. Yet I'm floating like a jelly fish. Deep under the sea Where the sun doesn't shine No one would notice if I disappear I want to be the jellyfish's right hand I want to disappear without a trace I don't care what goes on out of the water Do as the jellyfish does, party for one I'm washed up on the shore What am I searching for? It's such a delight just to see you 'Cause you've got something The secret of the lonesome sea Just cruising with no destination You're drawn to someplacе we don't know Just keep swimming No good reason Plenty busy just drifting about Not much mеaning to life Why is there no heart? I feel it too Grievously wanting a life like yours You'll be a floating soul forever My mellow personal abyss And then sink Lie back and watch the currents We finally slow down Jellyfish, why don't you know How beautiful you are You're busy breathing, I'll appreciate you in your stead Just keep swimming We still have a long way to go I just go with the flow Just keep swimming No good reason Plenty busy just drifting about Perhaps I'm someone else's jellyfish struggling to survive This is pretty pathetic lol. I just used Jellyfish lyrics. Okay guys I'm fine (kinda) and I'll see you guys later

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