The end...

Just like the title says, it's the end.

And with the end, beautiful things come...

Where have you been, Balta?

Honestly? Life is crazy. Through these last months, a lot of stuff has been happening to me, to my mental health and to my surroundings. College, depression, and discovering my true self have made me wonder so many things that I never asked before, and even question the actual state of my life. And when I talk about "discovering my true self", I talk about realizing I am gay. Yes, just like you heard, Balta was gay all along. After 19 years of repression from my parents and family, I finally managed to understand what was wrong with me. All along, I was forced to be attracted to something I was never actually attracted to. But time doesn't forgive, and I got myself a job while studying in college.

How did you started in Janitor, Balta?

Well, I came from that other site C##B, through a link. After just a little amount of time, and in the confusion, I decided to comment on something I hated. The real reason behind commenting? It was a comment I made to a NTR bot where I received lots of likes. What my head processed as "helping", instead, it truly was judging. And what those likes produced? Ego. Lots of it. So I became addicted. Bot after bot, dislike after dislike. By February, it wasn't even about helping, it was about repeating the cycle to get my ego satisfied. I met a guy I And after my realization of my true self, my mental health both raised and declined. The social expectations on me and the new freedom made me spiral, and I did things I shouldn't have done.

Why telling all of this now, Balta?

Well, it's the end, and as an end, I always rather try to finish things with the right foot. Around 2 months, I've been receiving therapy and a lot of things changed. I blocked the female tag, because it meant nothing to me anymore. I shouldn't even started commenting on something I shouldn't have even cared, both NTR and female bots. But by that time, I didn't even knew.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for those who have such bad image of me. "You met me at a very strange time in my life". I guess that's a phrase that fits my situation perfectly. I like to think I've changed. Got a job, got someone to talk to romantically, and I'm studying hard.

So, what is the end of, Balta?

Through these hard, confusing and strange times, there's always been something that helped me. Bot making. Bot making of the piece of fiction I love the most:

It's the end of my past self, the end of that user who made dismissive and mocking comments. It's the end of that person who was ashamed of who he was, the end of someone who's confused. In the high of the moment, it was fun, but after all this time I spent on thinking, on being with myself, I can see how much time I wasted on trying something so empty. So now I want to be away from drama, from fights, from discussions, from negativity. I

Thanks to everyone who supported me through this year, and sorry for those who had the misfortune of crossing paths with me and leaving with an unpleasant view.

What now?

Time to be myself, my true self.

I'll be uploading bots in this profile (click the image)