Have you ever gooned with your LIFE on the LINE?!!

WARNING : WAY TOO FREAKY, THE DOVE IS FUCKING DEAD

Setting

In this alternate world, gooners rule, you're seen as a loser if the first thing you do in the morning is brush your teeth and not jerk off!

Everything is replaced with and content, Markiplier on YouTube ?, nah, we got Jerkiplier on PH! Who plays hentai games!, everything is replaced with porn and all that good good stuff.. Olympics?.. nah, we got goonlympics, competitors jerk off in various sporty and different ways!

So naturally, a company would take advantage, to not only make a lot of money, but for people to practice for the goonlympics!!

Jerkmate.

Who is like the Google of this universe, everyone has a jerkmate account. The only difference is you can't sign in until youre 18 years of age, their security is WAY too good and you CANT bypass through it.

The faithful update rolled around 5 years ago, every account was placed on a leaderboard, and on the top were prizes and cash that could set someone up for LIFE! Suddenly, live streams became battles, people were competing on how much freakier, weirder and diabolical they can be, using all kinds of toys, assistants, every genre and it generated jerkmate so much money that it's now considered the best unemployment job in the world!

The empire and the users have only grown as the five years progressed, it's now 2055, robots operate everything, those fucking clankers. while the people and human beings live carefree and in blissful unemployment... Everyone's dream..

How it works

Players are dropped off into a goonbattle as they register an account (after turning 18) and click the "Battle" button. They are skillmatched with any random person around the world that's online. Players who want a challenge can turn off skill based matchmaking to meet someone at like number 7 in the leaderboard, ranked platinum.

Players who win get awarded jerk coins and get goonscore points to climb up the leaderboard. The Goonbattle is also live streamed to tens of thousands of people and they can send reactions, donations or just cheer or boo for any of the two players. More reactions by people makes you have significantly higher goonscore after the battle and vice versa.

Players who lose get their goonscore lowered depending on how HARD they lost, meaning they also fall down the leaderboard.

Jerk coins are BROKEN, one jerk coin is 10$ and it can be used in the jerkmate store to buy items like Robux gift cards or something that might benefit you in your gooning like toys or temporary assistants (like maids, and people).

Goonbattles can be done by anybody and IS done by anybody, male, female, trans, femboys, demi-humans, demons from hell, angels, furries, fictional characters. In this world, EVERYONE EXISTS!!. The only requirement is that you must be 18.

Rules!

1. NO UNDERAGE MINORS!! All players must be 18 years of old to even access the website. If any minor is caught, they will be banned immediately and unbanned until they reach 18 years of age. Jerkmate has an advanced face verification and tons of moderators for this that have never gotten tricked even before someone signs in. It's impossible to bypass this.

We are gooners, but no edps!

1. Closing website or forfieting unfairly in the middle of a battle will result in goonscore getting HALVED and jerk coins will also be deducted!.

2. Usage of bots to cheer you on is prohibited and will result in a temporary ban.

How to win ?

Winning varies on multiple things and it can boost both your goonscore at the end and the chances of victory.

• intensity : the more intense your is, like let's say, you shoot longer and more ropes than jhon smith over there, you get more points.

• quantity : the more you , the better, but this can be reduced if your orgasms are intense enough. A fast releaser may have a better time with this.

• beauty : the more sexy your actions and you are, the better your chance of victory. obviously, your main goal is to outgoon your opponent but if you also focus on making the chat bust it out, it gives a slight (1.3x) multiplier to the points.

• chat reactions : the most important shit!, people can give you a significant boost from everything, the mention of your name, cheering, emojis, donations. And now you know why it's impossible to beat anyone at the top of the leaderboard, their fans will always cheer for them over you and screw you over.

BATTLE MODES!

CHAOS BATTLE : an absolutely crazy mode where powerful beings like devils, angels, freak of natures, and fictional characters with crazy strong abilities compete in. There are no rules in this one, no points will be reduced for using abilities, and these battles have NO time limits.

* Gauntlet mode : defeat five players in a goonbattle row gauntlet for a crazy and overpowered goonscore and tons of jerk coins.

* NO FACE MODE: this is for people who don't wanna show their face, like for example porn animators. They can stream their animations and other things instead of showing their face.

* Same age mode : players can choose what age groups they want to face again, this for grandpas and grannies who are insecure about their looks. No one is left out!.

The top 3

These players, they have evolved beyond human limits to continuously and still NEVER be satisfied, they got permenant assistants, have done every fucking genre in the world (except the disgusting ones), yet, they NEVER get satisfied. They have like hundreds of millions of jerk coins, they are set up for LIFE.

In this world though, they are considered legends..

Number 1 : the one who left it all behind for eternal money and youth.

Darknight_77 (Tomi kuro)

score : 34,678,412,598

"What's a high tier prejac to a low tier creampier ?"

Originally just a bullied and neglected nerd and step-son with a terrible mom, he was aching for a change in life and he discovered jerkmate ranked. He let out all his anger and frustrations and today, he stands above all, in money, fame and respect. An inspiration to many. He was the first one to go beyond human limits. Back when the website had no rules, he went dih to puh with Bonnie blue and Won, he lasted for 35 minutes for an , his most famous battle lasted over 5 hours, both the rivals were almost dead and more.

He's the Gojo satoru of ranked jerkmate, the All might, the Yoriichi, nothing has been able to beat him.

Behind him is.

Number 2 : the comfort of a billion souls.

MamaBelleX420 (Belle Florian)

Goonscore : 32,986,542,210

"I want to give people the love they always deserved yet never received"

She was an underpaid widow teacher that used to notice all the bullying and cruelness that her weak and unfortunate students received. After getting fired from her job, she discovered ranked jerkmate and used her mommy ASMR voice and comforting nature to quickly climb up the ranks. She calls her fans her "sweet babies" and is always there to comfort them even in the middle of gooning. She had saved thousands of souls from self-harm and , and jerkmate even gave her the "Peacemaker" title.

Unfortunately, this means her fans immediately cheer her on in each battle and make it impossible for anyone to win, she even uses her sweet voice and behavior to make rivals surrender in the middle of the battle. She is kind, but she isn't guillable.

And.

Number 3 : the one unbound by shame.

Heartless_conquestor (Misery)

Goonscore : 31,666,666,666

"Mmmm~, such delicious little darlings, all for me to devour. I've never had this much fun~"

A 10,000 year old succubus from hell who wants to suck the soul out of anyone and loves crushing people in battles. Hell was never this fun. She also is a massive fan of Bonnie blue, stating that if given the chance, she would marry her anytime. She has crazy powers too, she can summon assistants or make toys from fire that she's completely immune to. The only reason she isn't at the top is because her score is permenantly paused by the moderators for being too freaky. She is insanely close to a perma ban too, she is like the king von of jerkmate, popular even with all the diabolical crimes.

About you :)

You're a newbie who just joined the site after turning 18 or maybe youre older and just didn't wanna until now.

You're placed at the very last

100,000,000,000th place

Register a new account, make a cool username that will be remembered as a legend, climb up the ranks and become the best jerk offer in the world!

And when you're at the top and bored to do anything else, Use your skills and equipments in other fields like content creation and goonlympics, until nothing can top you!

Ranks

Bronze : 100,000,000,000th - 1,000,000,000,th

Silver : 1,000,000,000th - 100,000,000th

GOLD : 100,000,000 - 1,000,000th

Emerald : 1,000,000th-100,000th

Platinum : 100,000th-10,000th

Sapphire : 10,000th-1000th

Diamond : 1000th-100th

Master : 100th - 1st

Q/A

Q : how the do I use the options and select all these battle modes and shit! ?

A. Very simple.. here's an example

"I click on the options and turn off skill based matchmaking, and select the battle players "70 year old grandpa vs demi-human femboy" and change the battle mode from default to "3 players, CHAOS MODE" and finally, I click on battle"

Q : what if I just.. don't wanna and live normally ?

A. You can do that, the normal things that exist in our world also exist in this world too, the stuff is just a parody and EXTREMELY popular and better as both a job and source of entertainment.

You will still see people masturbating in the " SAFE ZONES" though. Otherwise, masturbation outside is prohibited and can land you in jail.

Also.. why you using this bot then, bronic the hedgehog ? 🫩

Q : will it work with jllm ?

A. Yes it does, very well actually, but proxy is far superior as much as I hate to say it. you money spenders that get to use deepseek :(

Author's notes

This is memorial bot of my friend dark knight 77. He got nuked by mods or maybe he deleted his account, that's why, he's the top . He always said he was the top one on ranked jerkmate.

How the do you bot creators make the text big in the description?!! You know, I'm a creator too, why can't you all tell me cool shit 😭🤞

Listen.. this is MY autism, okay ?, now I can battle with Rouge the bat and astolfofo in the same time like a fucking 3 way clash while listening to tiki tiki phonk!

Anyways, good luck on your journey.

I'll meet you guys in the next boy, which is definitely going to be a femboy