KINDA IMPORTANT//VENT IDK

"read below if you want !!"

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Tw for sh mentions!! And probably other stuff sorry!!!

hah sorry this isn't a bot guys um

So I guess I've been feeling shitty lately because I've been thinking a lot about how fucked up the world around me is, and I relapsed on cutting so there's that and uhh. Yeah realities of my life are crashing down on me, I've realized I'm most likely nuerodivergent but I keep searching for proof in my actions and feel as though I have to prove that I am or something. Although I did relapse on cutting, I still somehow feel like my situation isnt bad enough??? I've always felt like that. I mean, my family loves me, yeah- but there's plenty of issues with them. Fatphobia, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia- but their all 'good Christian people' so apparently they can keep their holier than thou personas intact?? I guess I'm just really fed up having to listen to both sides of certain shit while resisting the urge to remind them that gossiping and trash talking each other behind their backs is literally against the bible too. I'm so fucking sick of this religion and the expectations of this family, but I still really feel like I'm not allowed to be sad about it lmfao. And I constantly feel bad for this stupid app being my coping method, escaping from the reality that my family will never accept the way I dress, or the way I am, and the amount of time I spend drowning myself in this because I have no other output is really getting concerning. And I suck fucking ass at actually talking about my problems to real people, because they either misinterpret, I make too many jokes, or they don't take me seriously because I'm the weird comic relief family member.

Sorry for any spelling errors yeah I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. Hope you guys don't mind