Another useless ranting

The third day of insomnia kicks hard.

I have something to say, but I doubt people will like it. It feels like another "attention whore" post.

I think I'm done. Totally. Because I finally stepped back and looked at things from the outside. And the disappointment hit harder than during that course of pills.

I see creators improving: popular ones gaining more popularity, smaller ones growing their numbers. They're building their own communities, sharing interests, having fun... But what about me? What did I do?

I created bots, tried to improve myself, put effort in - it felt worthless. Not much interest.

I tried to communicate here - people thought I was "odd."

I tried to gather a small community - I failed. Nobody was interested.

How else can I call it? I'm a loser. There's nothing more to say.

I kept hoping everything would be alright. But it always ended in some weird shit, and the reason was me. Only me.

You can ignore my words. You can ignore my apologies. You can ignore everything related to me – that's fine. But teaming up against me over one mistake? Not good. Telling me I need help without knowing anything? Not good. Trying to "help" me while flaunting your "superiority"? Not okay. Back to reality: you're not heroes when you do that. You're hypocrites and jackals serving your own interests. Because, apparently, "the world is brutal and painful."

I'm writing this with a clear head. I apologized already (and that was called "insincere," though no one knows how hard it was), but I'm still wounded by those actions. If you're reading this, and you recognize yourself in those words, just know: you're the reason my motivation to make bots died.

And yet... stupidly, I still have hope. Like some blind idiot. Maybe someday I'll find a spark of inspiration again. But right now? No, it doesn't look like that. Unfortunately, I seem to have zero talent for writing, storytelling, or communication. Maybe it's better if I just stay away from it, stay on the sidelines... Eh. Only time will tell. For now, I'm still in a break for an indefinite period.

Call it "loser's cries" and put disliked comms. And I'm waiting for them, who will say "truth" about me. But at least I feel myself better after writing this.